A Few Things That I've Learned So Far

This post is one where I'll provide a few tips on what I feel I've learned about and hope will be useful to your relationship. 

Expect to not understand their disability to the fullest extent

As much as someone can tell you about their condition, you'll never truly know exactly how or what they feel. For example, my boyfriend has high functioning cerebral palsy. Although he can get up from his wheelchair and walk around, this is extremely tiring for him. His reach is even limited. This took me a while to learn. I thought "if he can get up and grab things, why can't he do things like this and that?" It wasn't until I saw him attempting to do these things, that I understood how hard it was for him. It's best to really be communicative and understanding when learning the capabilities of your partner.

Ask questions

To understand how much of what your significant other can do, it's extremely important to ask questions. When I first got together with my partner, I asked things like:

"How long can you do __ for?"

"How can I best accommodate you for __?"

"When are the times where you have the most energy?"

"When are you the least in pain/tired?"

These questions can be altered to best fit your case, but essentially it comes down to separating your own capabilities from your partners, as well as intertwining them to strengthen your relationship. 

Be prepared for unwarranted looks

Ignoring unwanted stares from random people when my boyfriend and I are in public is still a bit hard for me to do because I immediately want to start a staring contest with these strangers to see who backs down first. 

A visual representation of what I look like out in public.
Source: tenor.com

Memes aside, they stare because we stand out. Whether or not this attention is bad, they're just strangers at the end of the day. What truly matters is our attitude and the happiness my partner brings me.

Try to not to have a negative attitude in difficult situations and get creative

Instead of lingering during hard times, try to have a positive outlook. For example, a few days ago my boyfriend and I went to our local Walmart. Out of all the electric wheelchairs in the store, the only one left had zero percent in battery! Throughout most of my time in the store, my mind was dwelling on the inconvenience that it caused us. We had to use the manual wheelchair which added an extra challenge. Initially, we attempted to simply carry our items, but this eventually became impractical the more we shopped. We gave in and grabbed a shopping cart. Now I had two things to push- the chair and the shopping cart. Luckily though, my boyfriend got the smart idea of laying his two feet in-between the bottom carriage on the cart  and held on to the shopping cart handle. This way I was able to pull the shopping cart, and in turn, him and his wheelchair too. When I saw that this problem was solved easily with a little creativeness, I realized that if I had wasted less time thinking about the inconvenience, we could've thought about the solution sooner during our shopping trip.